By Mother Dove - July 23, 2010
Personal history with entheogens
Use of entheogens has been an integral part of my spiritual development since the late 1960’s. I have also had spontaneous experiences of altered states of consciousness including an extensive phase of kundalini rising that extended from October 24, 2006 through mid-February 2007.
Although this was my first encounter with San Pedro I had done previous work—all productive—with peyote. When I learned that San Pedro and peyote are both of the mescaline family I felt thoroughly relaxed to set as my intention to modulate my energy system to the greatest extent possible to encompass the energy system of the San Pedro (SP). I did this by visualizing a molecular loosening of my field and welcoming the molecular structure of the SP to intersperse among mine. While in retrospect this may seem to be a dramatic intention to create for a substance with which I had no prior experience, it seemed absolutely natural and appropriate at the time. I have long held the belief that different entheogens make themselves available to people during different eras because they have information relevant to development of the species and the planet at that time. (The presence of LSD during the late 60’s and early 70’s in American culture is a significant example of this phenomenon—one the ramifications of which have not yet ended.) For the last year or two I had been reading about salvia divinorum and had been hoping to engage with it as part of my study. When SP was made available it seemed to me that it was going to play that role for me. (“Never question the intentions of a vegetable,” has long been one of my mottos.)
Events of the experience
On the May day that I began my study with SP, the first evidence that it was having an effect was an internal map of what I perceived to be either DNA or molecular structure forming and re-forming on the insides of my eyelids. I took this to mean that the melding of structures that I had requested was indeed occurring.
Even prior to the onset of the SP, the land on which we were located and the plants and devas associated with it had begun to communicate with me. Because of the amount of time and energy the steward of that land had devoted to her own conscious communication with the land and the plants thereon, they are highly articulate in the ways of humans and skillful in initiating and strengthening that communication. During the course of the day they expressed to me a variety of ways in which they would like to work with human consciousness to help us save ourselves from the isolation from the larger field of all life which we have created and which could result in the termination of our species.
Throughout the day I had an increased sense that SP and the other plants identified as entheogens have as one of their tasks the preparation of human consciousness so that it is able to hear the communication of all plant life. It was made clear to me that every blade of grass, every flower petal has its own particular message for us. The entheogens behave as teachers of the green language so that, after a period of time of working with them, we two-leggeds could become able to communicate with the entire vegetable world. I believe that intentional study in this area could raise consciousness and result in more intelligent ways of interacting between species for the benefit of both.
Within an hour or two after ingesting the SP I had gradually lost language and was in a state in which I was completely engrossed in the green essence of the eternal now. It was clear to me that the only thing I needed to do was to stay in that place and state of mind. It was apparent to me that the green sensibility was closer to the wisdom of All That Is than any consciousness that I could manufacture using language. I could sense the approach of an absence of the passage of time although I realized that a sequenced passage of events is necessary on one level for the green world to evolve. Although a clear contradiction between the two states existed it was of no consequence to me nor is it now. (NB I should note here that in the course of writing this article I have gradually slipped into a state of mind similar to although not as intense as that which I experienced after drinking SP. I feel that I am being assisted in revisiting the state of mind so that I can describe it but not being so engrossed that I am totally distracted from language.)-
It was at this point—two or three hours into the day– that I was first aware in a concrete way that I had become more “green” than I had been when I began. I felt a species relationship with the trees and other plants as real as the one I usually feel with other mammals and could feel them (the green ones) welcoming me.
The land communicated with me at length throughout the day about the ways that it would like to work with humans to help us reverse the behaviors that we must undo if we are to save the planet. It talked to me about various decision making processes which it uses for its own survival that could be made available to us. The land told me that it is a teaching grove—one of many on the planet. Its steward and I spoke about this briefly later and she reported that she had been having similar communications from the land over the years that she has lived there.
At various points during the day I was privileged to observe several other SP students studying their various “lessons”—all different. One woman spent most of the day inhabiting her sacred vision of everything around her. Another was involved in an intricate dance with the devas. Others were transfixed in I do not know what state of mind but obviously one sacred to them. Overall it was clear that SP was awakening us to our sacred selves and welcoming us to play our roles in the universal dance.
At one point I was watching a spider spinning a web directly out of the matrix of light on which creation is based. I knew I had to be pretty cagey about this. What if the spider was trying to put something over on me? I watched carefully, out of the corner of my eye, or looked away and then quickly back to see if I could detect any trick. No matter what I did the field of light remained constant, pulsing regularly, and the spider continued to spin her web from it. Then someone sat down and one of the basic anchors for the web was interrupted. Rather than becoming distressed or immediately re-spinning her web, the spider simply sat on a nearby leaf and watched the goings on. The web of light from which she had been spinning remained constant and pulsing and the spider explained to me that once a creature reaches a certain point of evolution it becomes aware of the ability to create anything directly from the infinitely available source of light and begins to use that as source at all times rather than depending on the many intermediary processes that we currently use. I watched the matrix of light for quite a while; it was everywhere.
I have previously had communications with Thought Spider Woman or Spider as the Great Mother in entheogen facilitated experiences so I was not surprised to see her again. I was delighted to learn later that another member of our group and her son had also had a spider-facilitated experience. I would be interested in knowing if there are specific one to one correlations between various entheogens and animal/insect teachers.
During the day time took on a silly putty quality. It stretched and shortened, changed shape, stopped, surrounded me and let me stand outside it. A few times it was nowhere to be found and once I recall that I had no concept of what it was. At one time I believe that had I hit it with a hammer time would have fractured into an infinite number of shards. Another time it was so flexible it could have been stretched thinly enough that it would have been a single molecule thick; one could have read through it—although there would be nothing to read, of course, since linearity (necessary precursor to language) was long gone by then.
For me the most important single change of which I have been aware as a result of the experience is a sense of what it means to have a green consciousness: its complexity/simplicity; its absolute self-sufficiency; the great love that green holds for all other forms; its self-regenerative nature.
For a significant period of time at the height of the experience it was clear to me that the sole and only thing that I wanted was to be a tree on that land. Anything other than that seemed noisy, busy, crass, rude, obscenely complex . . . and on and on. Now, six weeks out of the experience, I continue to hold greater peace and a sense of the spiritual generosity through which the green kingdom teaches us, takes our hands and leads us gently into the inevitable deep truth that comprises their lives.
I have always been empathic with trees and flowers; after this experience that ability increased to the point where I prefer to leave my home on the days when the community in which I live enforces mowing and cutting of what is called the “landscape.”
I also have a strong sense that a connection that will never be undone was formed between those of us who shared this experience with the great green consciousness that surrounds the planet. I feel that this connection is occurring for people all over the planet and is one of the many modalities through which the opposed polarities of nature are coming together to show us the way home again. The dolphins are reconnecting us to the water, the entheogens to the wisdom of the higher green realms.
It is difficult to predict whether we will, as a species, pay proper attention to this reconnection. My prayer is that we will listen; that we will remember; that we will do what we are being asked to do and that we will do it before it is too late.
In the late 1960’s there was a popular book called “The Greening of America” which addressed what the author saw as a burgeoning attention to things natural in our culture at that time. Perhaps now, some forty years later, we are revisiting this issue on a more intimate level. Perhaps many of us are “greening” by allowing the molecular matrix of these entheogens teachers to come into our own structures and using it to guide us a we address the crucial issue of rebuilding the natural world which we have been plundering—as if it were something alien to us—for far too long.