Aspects of the Entheogenic Experience: Regression

 

The first time I experienced regression was during a mescaline trip. I was tripping with a group of seven or eight people; we started the trip off by skinny dipping in our pool. As soon as I started to feel effects, I got out of the pool. Then I started to feel nauseous so I spent some time the bathroom. When I came out, I realized that I still didn’t have my clothes on. I could barely talk and my legs felt wobbly as I asked everyone to help me find my clothes. In reality, they kept coming up to me and bringing me clothes to wear that fit me. However, at the time, I thought that they were all ten sizes too big. I was experiencing the sizes of things change in a way very similar to Alice eating the pieces of the mushroom and changing size, in Alice in Wonderland.

At the same time, I started to feel like I was seven or eight years old. I kept thinking about things in a very juvenile way. I thought everyone in the group was teasing me by giving me close that wouldn’t fit. They reminded me of all the mean, laughing kids that made fun of me when I was growing up. I was always the nerdish outcast in my class. The deeply hidden painful memories started flowing back to me, causing me to feel angry and sad. No matter what the people in my group did or how they tried to interact with me, I can only see them as those mean children that made fun of me.

After a came down, I realized that it was all part of the trip. They may have been laughing at me, because seriously who wouldn’t have been? But, they weren’t purposely giving me clothes that didn’t fit. In fact, piles of my clothes were spread all over the house. It was obvious that they had tried their best to help me find them.

I think that regressing back to that painful time during my childhood was very beneficial to me. Before the trip, I didn’t ever think about all that stuff that happened so many years ago. Regressing back to it helped me see that there was a part of myself that needed to heal. I needed to experience those hurt feelings once again, so that this time I could properly put them to rest.

Krystle A. Cole - Mescaline

 

 

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