Aspects of the Entheogenic Experience: Unity with Everything
Dosage – MDMA – 1 pill (pink diamond), 12mg 2CB-fly
wife: .5mg Clonazepam (for calming, taken daily normally)
Set – dreamguy: positive, well rested, usual butterflies as I get before any trip wife: stable, anticipating trip
Setting – Living room, L just finished preparing a very good smelling stew for our comedown later11:00am – We each take 1 pink diamond pill of MDMA. We’ve done these before with fair results.
11:50am - 12:30pm – Onset is slow. I’ve been spending this time taking care of all the sober to-dos I won’t be able to do for the next 12 hours.
12:30pm – Very gentle waves of emotions
12:50pm – Conversation is flowing. I have a fear these pills are too light. We decide to split another pill as a booster.
1:20pm – Wife turns me on to listen to the Wicked soundtrack. I swear this would be the cure for almost any bad trip. The sounds are unbelievably happy songs.
1:40pm – Booster is kicking slightly. More waves of emotions. Conversations about inspiring others and fulfilling career dreams.
2:08pm – took 11mg of 2CB-fly. *Although I usually subscribe to the Sasha Shulgin preference of tasting the material without a mixer, 2CB-fly is by far the vilest chemical I’ve ever had. :0 Coca-cola was a decent mixture. Anything that’s strong on the syrup and sugar seems to be a good mask.
3:09pm - We go into conversations about dissolving racial barriers. I realize every human struggles against stereotypes to be accepted as an individual. I’m starting to feel the onset of the 2CB-fly.
3:34pm – Just went through a small stage of paranoia in regards to my business (*yes it’s a legal biz). Wife gave great advice on actions to take which eased my stress and helped me make sense of the situation. She wrote it down as a simple plan which allowed me to completely move on to more positive topics.
5:00pm - Visuals are there if I choose but I don’t pay much attention. *This is strange as it’s one of my favorite parts of psychedelics.
7:00pm – took a 5 mg booster
Conclusion – This is where the trip report stopped. I wish I had written more because there were many moving moments. With psychedelics, there seem to be 2 choices; 1) writing down what we think in the moment and risking what might follow while we concentrate on writing or 2) going further into the experience for more insight but risking forgetting it all after it’s over. It seems toward the end of the trip, I chose the latter. Although this is a comment on the bigger picture of psychedelics, it applied the most in this experience.
I have and will always hold the torch for lovers and psychedelics. I wish every psychedelic soul the opportunity to connect or turn on another psychedelic soul. I love my wife incredibly and we’ve delved deeper into our dreams, history, and mutual admiration than I could imagine with any other catalyst. We chose the 2CB-fly and MDMA combo because of the ‘love’ and ‘erotic’ nature we’ve read about. Although the erotic fantasy was there before the adventure, MDMA has always had the opposite effect for me which was the case in this trip.
Based on 1 trial each, I prefer the blend of MDMA and 2CI to that of MDMA and 2CB-fly. 2CB-fly dances and floats like MDMA, whereas 2CI nudges the soul. I’ve heard a lot of hype about MDMA and 2CB. My instincts say, “2CB-fly is smooth and euphoric on it’s own. It is not necessary to take it in combination with MDMA.” I will give this combo another chance at a later time.
dreamguy - 2cb-fly + MDMA
After drinking a tea made with chopped mushrooms and hot water, my brother and I walked around downtown sacrametno, after dark, on a warm summer's evening. Approaching home, we began to laugh hysterically over a joke contrasting the mundanity of normal experience with the psychedelic state. Outside the entrace to the courtyard I began to feel very ungrounded. Every direction my mind turned began to feel uncomfortably boundless. I made a conscious effort to remain calm, focused, and attentive without emotionally attaching to the feeling of fear. As I entered my apartment, the contrast between the dark street and the brightly lit living room delighted me. I sat in a large papasan chair and rested. Gazing at the walls in my home I began to be aware of a profound sense of inner quiet.
The feeling that followed had the quality of what I imagined as an enlightenment experience. The ego seemed to vanish and a host of psychological tensions with it. Obvious was the release from the need to feel supior or inferior to any other human being. Insecurity was gone. Fear of intimacy was gone. What remained was the most normalizing experience of my life. There was no euphoria, hallucinations, divine communion, or any other exotic quality to the experience whatsoever. I chuckled as I realized that I felt esentially the same as ever but at the same moment a thousand times better. As my brother and I walked along downtowns darkened sidewalks later that night, we had a conversation of such honesty and intimacy that i never would have imagined possible or even desirable before that moment.christopher david - cubensis mushrooms
Dark humid night with the sounds of crickets everywhere. We walked the dark road in the deep forest. Visions everywhere of everything. Then my senses were filled with an awareness. It was mostly a smell but ran deeper than only a smell. It spilled over into other levels of perception. I was saturated with the smell. I not only smelled it but I tasted it, saw it, felt it and heard it. It was maple sugar.
Everthing was maple sugar. Then I saw it. A huge maple tree before me. All of my senses had merged with and were unified with the tree. I was part of the tree and communed deeply with it. Continuing into the night visions were everywhere in the darkness. From candy canes to christmas trees. From civil was fife and drum soldiers to playing cards of all suits. Jacks, hearts, clubs and diamonds. My best friend that was with me proclaimed "I love acid!". I agreed with him and his girlfriend who was a first time tripper softly said "This is wonderful". WE continued into the forest and slowly the visions slipped away. As time proceeded we became reorientated to normal reality. We all agreed that the acid was wearing off. None of us had discussed the visions we had seen with
each other. I looked at my friend and said "I want to go back to the playing cards". My friend replied "They were back there". In that moment we both knew that there was more to reality than the material. In that moment. In that flash moment something very special was confirmed. WE are all connected. We are one. All things are one.Bob Hanes - LSD-25
As we walked in this ancient reptilian primordial reality we noticed that there were large horseshoe crabs along the beach. They had been left there by the tide. They each were around 8 inches across and 10 or so inches long. They look not like a crab but like a giant Trilobite. I have been told that they are very very old and have not changed in millions of years. Many of these crabs were turned on their backs. Their legs are not long enough to rite themselves. A sense of sorrow and compassion for the crabs came over me. We spent the remaining hours of darkness walking the endless beach and throwing the struggling crabs back into the sea. It was a beautiful night. Stars glistened, waves crashed in the night and many crabs were returned to the sea. After the trip was over I reflected back wondering if I really had been interfering with the natural universal cycle of the crabs. Under other circumstances maybe. But on that night I was one with beach and the crabs. It was the natural thing to do.
Bob Hanes - Psilocybin mushrooms
My first vision quest on San Pedro was a beautiful, and powerful experience. I had radiant consciousness expanding psychedelic visions that caressed my mind into trance, and allowed spirit a bridge to this plane.
I have taken this only once before. The vision that I had was about my 2 beautiful girls. I saw them for what they are... Perfect flowers... a flower knows how to be a flower, and so too do my children (as I came to understand) know how to be perfectly them selves. I will not push them, or attempt to form them into "good" citizens. I will simply guide them, and help them to understand the world... The resounding thought from the vision... Children are born perfect, its our job not to screw them up.
Of couse much more was experienced, but this is what I brought back.Scott Kaskey - San Pedro Cactus
I began to fall asleep with my iPod playing and my TV muted. As I was dozing off I could hear the faint sound of my music coming through my headphones and the light from the TV washing over my eye lids every few moments. I drifted deeper into unconciousness and into a dream-state, releasing control of my mind to my subconcious self. Before long, however, I realized I could still hear the music coming from my headphones while I was dreaming. It was the first time in my life that I was both dreaming and starkly aware of the fact that I was asleep at the same time. Once this realization dawned on me, I found my dream was malleable and I began to shape it to my will. I stretched my dream self to infinity and let myself sink into all matter and planes of existence. I could hear the buzzing of all things living and inanimate mix and wash over eachother until all I could hear was a vast silence that engulfed me. I felt completely connected to all things in exististence as well as everything that had ever ceased to exist or had yet to come into existence. I woke shortly after feeling as though I had slept for hours, but as I glanced at the clock I realized it had only been about 45 minutes. The next morning I read about similar experiences and found that I had most likely had a lucid dream and that it could have been brought on by the 5-htp that I take as a supplement. All in all it was the strangest sober experience I've had in my life and may very well have topped any experience I've had aided by any substance.
Solid - Lucid Dreaming / 5-htp
Nearly seven years ago, in July of 2001, a dear friend prepared ayahuasca for me in his California home. I was quite an experienced and confident entheogen user, so when my friend handed me the sealed jar containing about 4oz. of muddy looking liquid and said, “Take this at night. Avoid foods x,y, and z (he gave me a list). Come back and tell me what happened,” I simply said, “Okay.” Knowing that he lovingly and caringly provided and prepared this mystery mixture, I was excited to see what was in store.
A different friend and I drove to King Range in coastal Mendocino County, also known as the Lost Coast…there are no lights at night and it’s very difficult to access. My experience was profound. Every living thing I tuned into, the trees, the bushes, people camping…they all told me a story. I was telepathic. The colors were vibrant and when I closed my eyes, my vision split into 4 quadrants. In the center sat a serpent, coiled, and it looked like we were moving through space at warp speed. In the upper left quad, I saw an old man who looked to be a native Indian man. In the upper right, he was standing in a cave, preparing something in a cauldron-type pot. In the lower right corner, he was now with others who were seated around the fire and he was teaching them. In the lower left corner, there was a jungle and I could see plants and animals moving. It was a very nice and positive experience that lasted about 4 hours. When I returned to my friend who made the drink for me and told him of my experience, he said, “Did your visions look like this?” He showed me ayahuasca artwork that looked strikingly like what I had seen and told me that people had been having these visions for thousands of years and that South American native Indians would take it as a means to understand the earth consciousness- that the plants could teach the humans how to use them for their benefit and survival in the Amazon jungle.It is important to note that I believe our minds create our reality. If our world is one of fear, then we shall know fear. If our world is one of love, then we shall know love. I have no problem letting go of who I think I am to embrace the belief that I am (and you are all) everything…a Universal Consciousness of One. So with that, it’s probably true that I allow myself and fully expect to have ALL mind-expanding experiences through entheogens. In other words, it might be important to come from a good place in one’s mind.
This past week, March of 2008, I had the opportunity to take ayahuasca again. I visited the same friend who, this time, did not prepare it for me. He gave me instructions and enough for two doses…the ratio was 5 to 1 with 15mg of mimosa hostilis root bark to 3gm of Syrian rue seed (in this case the amount was doubled for 2 doses). I ground the seed into a fine powder using a coffee grinder. Some people seem very particular about the utensils used to prepare ayahuasca. In this case, I used a 2-quart cast iron pot. In the pot, I added the root bark and the syrian rue powder to enough boiling water to just cover the top of the root bark. I brought it all to a VERY slow boil and then I simmered it for about 15 minutes, stirring gently and deliberately like I was making a delicate family recipe. I envisioned myself being the shaman I saw during my first trip seven years ago and put a lot of energy into the process. After the first boil, I poured the contents into a French press coffeemaker. I poured out the liquid into a glass and put the solids back into the pot where I repeated this process for a total of three times. On the 4th boil, the solids were removed and discarded and I took all the liquid collected from the first three boils and simmered it over a low/medium heat until it reduced down to an ingestible amount of approximately 4.5oz of liquid per dose for a total of about 9oz. The entire process from start to finish lasted about 2 hours.
This time, I was located on top of a mountain in the Redwoods at a friend’s home. Because ayahuasca is only visually active in periods of darkness, this seemed like an ideal location. I must state that most people fast before taking ayahuasca because it tends to be difficult for the body to digest and can cause some intestinal distress. A lot of people believe that they’ll vomit if they eat. This doesn’t have to be true. I easily can be true, but is not some categorical imperative- I would say it depends on the individual.
I began to feel the effects within 15 minutes after the initial ingestion. The taste and smell, as one friend said after sampling it, was like roasted barley. It had the consistency of chai tea (might have been good with cinnamon and cardamom!) and I strongly recommend using the French press as a means of filtering the water during the brewing process…it did a fantastic job of keeping the solids out and was clean and easy.
Since I made two doses, the friend at whose home I was staying also shared some of this brew. He was sitting at the mountain’s peak, watching the clouds creep into the valley, as the moon allowed him to see every droplet of water that passed before us, eventually engulfing us in a fine, wafting mist. I was drawn away from the house and anything manmade, I could feel the forest calling me. I didn’t like the way metal felt…whatever makes metal, metal just didn’t seem like something with which I wanted to commune.
I could hear female voices whispering in the trees, “Is she coming? Will she come?” This was unfamiliar territory and once belonged to bears and is still home to wild cats, so I was frightened that my wobbly legs would give-out and I would plunge off the side of the mountain. I come from the east coast where the land is flat until about 60 miles inland, so tripping on a mountain is a bit awkward to say the least. I asked the forest to be kind to me and protect me, to guide me. There were cement pavers that created a walkway to go down. A tree that was very definitely a female energy started dancing in the moonlight…she was graceful and her long, thin arm reached for the sky as she arched her back, showing her form (Go Girl). And as I descended down the mountain and into the darkness (the only light was from an excruciatingly bright, almost full moon that I wanted to escape), I turned to see an enormous redwood…the vibration of the redwoods is so, so deep. They move slowly and deliberately. There is no wasted energy. I was brought to my knees as my trip came in full force. I’m 32 and have been tripping for precisely half my life. Never in my life have I experienced what happened to me the other night. In fact, no amount of LSD (or any of its derivatives), mushrooms, peyote could ever compare to the strength of ayahuasca…at least in my opinion.
I was literally brought to my knees and all I could say was, “Oh my God,” repeatedly for about a minute. I started to thank the trees and especially the old man tree standing in front of me, a mere second growth baby in the world of the Redwoods, but huge compared to other trees. I could see his face…his old eyes, his mustache and hand that was tucked, compacted into his enormous form. He didn’t talk like you or I, but I could hear his voice. I could hear and feel a vibration that came through as a kind of speech. But the voice is not audible like when talking out loud; rather, it was felt. It was a vibration that hit me in the chest and top of my head. After recounting this story to a quantum physicist friend, he related the vibrations to sound waves. And EVERYTHING vibrates! I am now completely convinced (if only moderately prior to this experience) that these vibrations and waves are what create the material universe. The tree was embarrassed that I would bow to him and he asked me to get up. He wanted me to know that we are equal. Once I paid my respects and gained my composure, I felt safe to enter the forest where skeletons waved at the side of the path, telling me where to go. I thanked them. They were wicked looking; with smiles on their faces and bright, vibrant colors, lines and patterns composing their forms. The designs were the brightest, most intricate, most beautiful, amazing colors that I have ever seen.
The skeletons showed me where to go and I walked in complete amazement and surrendered myself like a child in the arms of her mother. And suddenly, I looked up and was under the canopy of a circle of redwoods that formed the most beautiful cathedral that I had ever seen. I was standing in a church and could see stained glass, walls, corridors, an entire architectural masterpiece of interwoven, superfine lines that were creating material and non-material space right before my amazed eyes. I was speechless and kept whispering, “Wow…” There are simply no words to do this justice. I’m trying my best, but I think it’s impossible to give to a fair representation through verbal means and if I were a better artist, maybe I could hope to come close.
I wanted to find my friend, but I couldn’t leave. As my friend said later when we did find each other, “It’s like we’re more aware of the Earth. But the difference is that Earth knows we are aware and it’s excited!” It’s so true. At one point, we were discussing the idea that this material world we all share is like a kind of meeting place for interdimensional beings who are really scattered throughout the cosmos…this is our Universal chat room- a physical meeting ground for our spiritual selves. How incredible is that idea? Well, it makes a lot of sense to me, especially when I relate it to dreaming. Tell someone in your dream that they are simply a manifestation of your mind and I promise you that person will tell you that you’re crazy. That person in your dream, who you are dreaming, is as real as you or I.
Forced to the ground by the most spectacular visions of my life and overwhelming feelings that Everything was in perfect balance, I huddled into a fetal position and hid my face from the light beneath my hooded, black sweatshirt with a peace sign that forms when it’s zipped…ah, my refuge. Because even in the thick of the forest, that pesky moon follows like a little kid, teasing the dark, “Nyah, nyah, here I am! You can’t catch me!” I started laughing hysterically and was fully convinced that I no longer had the ability to walk.
Now, in the darkness of my mind there was an entirely different world- a digital, multi-dimensional world of infinity. Wow. My laughter grew louder and I said to myself, “You’ve really outdone yourself this time, Kiddo.” But where was my friend? He had to see what I was seeing! Suddenly, I heard him calling me, “Is that you?” It’s me! I mean, I think it’s me… Who am I again? Oh right, I am Everything too.My friend sat with me and lay on his back. I told him to close his eyes and he replied, “No, I’m not quite ready to go into the darkness!” He told me that looking at the bright sky as the clouds passed over was a much safer place to be. No, no, no! Bring the darkness! It’s Wonderful! I placed my head to the side of his head and closed my eyes. A flash of red light that looked like a small sun shot into the center of my brain and I could see a larger light inside of my partner’s brain- these lights merged into one, great light that shot out from our heads and into the sky. I felt this beautiful male-female energy that made me feel like we were the embodiment of the Earth Father and Mother. I’m fairly certain that this was a shared experience of an exchanging, yet combining great moment of Love.
When we sat up, I moved my hand from in front of my face and then quickly outward to try to see what the trails would look like. With LSD, the trails end where the movement stops. On DMT, time is slowed and the trails continue on into space, creating matter as they float on, endlessly. I was convinced that the Universe is a giant fractal image. An infinite number of recursive functions that shoot off into super-fine lines of brilliant colors creates screen-like images that are like a maze of mirrors, opening up and moving, sliding all over, everywhere…making up the whole of everything.
We composed ourselves and laughed our way back to our friends who acted as our more grounded observers. I was mad with emotion and excitement and begged my co-captain to journey back into the forest. The Earth is funny once it realizes that you realize. Some people say the Earth is angry that we have abused it and beat it into submission- I believe the Earth bears no hostility toward us what-so-ever once we realize that we are all equal. Our abilities as human forms allow us to help protect our friends who do not have the luxury to uproot and find a new place to live.
Funny to me at the time was how the redwoods do not move for us, but how they move for the fog. They drink from the moisture in the fog, the need the fog. The trees have a different relationship with the air than we…but everything works like a sleek and efficient machine…all of its parts moving in unison, dancing and vibrating to a Universal Song.
My friend and I continued into the forest and our grip on our physical bodies was much more firm. We winded down the mountain, listening to the smaller trees shout out to us. They were youthful voices that wanted us to pay attention to them…their branches extending to greet us like hands in a crowd of people who are waiting to catch a glimpse of someone famous who, if they were lucky enough, might get a handshake. But there are SO many voices! “Come deeper! Come see us too!” So, like any person who is overextended in obligations to others, one must apologize to the others and thank them for their hospitality.
On particular tree called out to me. “What kind of tree is this? She is so very sweet. She wants us to touch her.” My friend replied, “Ahh, we’ve had a relationship with this tree for thousands of years. It’s a Laurel Bay tree.”
One of our “sober” friends, the physicist, once asked a question several years ago as to how he could “fuck nature senseless.” Well, I decided in that moment, that in order to fuck nature, you do it literally. My tripping partner thought it a good idea to French kiss this little cutie…so I joined him. Our scientist friend informed us that leaves have little mouth-like receptacles called stomata that allow for the passage of water and air into the plant. When we placed our hot, wet tongues on the leaves, the plant seemed to be quite receptive to this…she had never been so intimate before.
My first ayahuasca experience in 2001 lasted about four hours. This time, we tripped HARD for 9 hours. The intense visions would come in waves of very calm to 40ft crushers that pounded me into the ground and completely flattened me. Though neither of us threw-up, there were times when I found difficulty in relaxing my stomach and felt tense…but a little human touching in the form of a back rub, a warm blanket, and cuddling made all the unpleasant feelings fade away.
I forced myself to sleep only to be awakened by the morning sun that beamed down into the large windows and the clear, beckoning blue sky that promised a new perspective into the night’s affair.
When taking ayahuasca or any life-mind-altering substance, it’s important to be with responsible people who have their heads together. The right setting is also imperative and the redwoods seem to be
ideal…or any place where one can be Free to Be. Another thing is that I was prepared to trip for 4 hours. 9 hours took a toll on me by the time the 7th hour rolled around, because I hadn’t bargained with myself that the length and strength could be so intense and persistent.But most of all remember that darkness is our friend. Without the darkness, we would know no light. There is much to be explored in and out.
Jungle Girl - Ayahuasca
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